Remembering Inge

As you read previously, the unveiling was held in Deltona on 19 January. We drove down to Florida on Friday, starting at 7 a.m. and finally arriving at our hotel at 9 p.m. that night. This is the first long road trip that Monica experienced in the U.S. and was amazed that we stayed on the same highway for just about the entire trip. We did manage to have a nice southern breakfast in North Carolina and stop at some outlet stores in Georgia.

That night, we raced to finish the details for preparing for the ceremony the next day. The next day, we did manage to go see the Manatees at Blue Springs State Park. Of all the times we have visited Florida, we never got to see the Manatees during their winter migration as we arrived at the wrong season. This park is less than five miles from the Kessler home in Deltona. Of course, their wasn’t much activity as the Manatees were more worried about staying warm and conserving energy.

Finally, it was time to unveil Inge’s grave stone. A copy of the program is located here. It was wonderful to see all the family and friends who came to help us mark this important milestone. My remarks are shown below:

Good afternoon and thank you for joining us on this occasion to mark the end of the period of mourning for Inge Coe Kessler by helping us unveil her headstone. I am honored that Papa Willie has asked me to give some remarks on behalf of the family. This is especially so, since he knows that I am a man of many words.

The Unveiling ceremony is an American Jewish tradition to mark the one year anniversary of the passing of a loved one. It is also part of the process of mourning and marks the end of the period of bereavement. I know that this has been a tough period of time for Bill, Stephanie and Mark and, on behalf of the family, I would like to thank you all for helping them through this difficult experience. While Inge’s passing was not a surprise, it was a long and difficult phase of her life.

I know we have spent the last year recounting and reflecting on the different fun and unique things that we loved about Inky. Sadly, Stephanie attended her first Yitzkor this year. While the period of mourning is over, this does not mean that we stop remembering our loved ones. This is especially true in the Jewish and Asian cultures. While Inge may not appear to be Asian, she is related by way of her grandchildren.

One of the Jewish customs that I have learned is that Jews carry the memory of their Ancestors to the living. This is done when naming their children. For example, Samantha is named after her great grandfather’s Samuel Kokotek and Joseph Kessler. Nicole is named after her Grand Uncle Norbert Kokotek, and Timothy is named after his uncle Timothy and Great Grandmother Emma Neuman Kessler. When my parents had heard about this, they held a family council and gave them each a Chinese name relating to honoring, knowing and remembering their ancestors. So Samantha, Nicole and Timothy, when you have your children, please remember Inge.

I believe that one of the important aspects of the Jewish traditions of mourning is to allow the survivors to move on to living. One of the things that I have found while living in Israel is that the Jewish people are the most vibrant and passionate people on earth about life. They love everything about life. From the traditions of numerology about the number 18, which means chai or life, to just about every holiday that celebrates the Jews triumph and survival. In fact, it is often said that most Jewish holidays are about how “they tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat!” There is such incredible joy when a new life is brought into this world and such sadness when one is taken. When we leave today after we unveil her stone, we will leave a stone as a symbol of our endearing love for her.

So I would like to propose to our family that we mark this day as the day we move on to living, remembering all the great things about Inge, through custom and tradition. Have a great passion for life in everything that you do, but keep the memory of Inge, close to your hearts.

Inge was a blessing to us all, and we honor and revere her, but it is also a two way street and I know from the way she looked at (and spoke about) her Husband, Daughter, and Son, Sister, in-laws, grandchildren and friends, that you all were a blessing to her and brought great joy to her and made her life meaningful.

Again, on behalf of the family I would like to thank you all for helping us to mark this occasion and your support through the years. To continue the ceremony, I would like to say …

After the ceremony, we all went to one of Inge’s favorite restaurant’s. She described it as “the place with the salad bar” though she really came for the soup. Here we got to talk and reminisce and meet all of the great friends and family that came to support us. So thanks to all that came!